Ladies and Gentlemen, I am bored.
Like buzz off all my hair, jump out of an airplane, buy a bulldog, move to India bored.
For many people, being this bored is actually a good thing — it forces them to do the crazy things that they wouldn’t otherwise. Like get a tattoo on their hindquarters that says “Grade A Top Round” or something.
Another section of society should never under any circumstances allow themselves to get this bored. These are the people who do things like casually skydive. If they get this bored, one of two things will happen: 1) They will become a YouTube sensation, or 2) they will overthrow the American government. Do not wait to see which influence will win.
Unfortunately, I fall into neither of these categories. Sure, I think about all the crazy things that I could do when I’m hella bored on the couch. But at the end of the day, I just go to the mini mart, buy some Doritos, and snuggle in deeper. It’s a sickness.
So today I aim not to let that happen. I aim to dance my boredom away. And while it’s possible to dance your way out of boredom without any tunes whatsoever (Pretty sure Ke$ha could do it), I’d look a lot dumber.
My favorite thing about Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is that I can never understand what in the name of Moses Alec Ounsworth is saying — “Yesterday, Never” is actually one of the band’s more enunciated tracks. Usually that would bum me out, because I’m all about singing — nay, shouting — along to music. But in this case, it just lets me focus on the driving drumbeat and the garage-bandy guitar and the happy vibes.
This one’s a throwback, y’all. Santigold’s debut album might have my favorite album cover of all time, because she looks like she’s barfing glitter. And I dig that. This song reminds me of stomping through DC, pretending that I owned the damn place. I didn’t. I’m pretty sure it belongs to Barack Obama. But that’s beside the point…this song has everything that you could ever want: clapping, yelling, distorted voices — I mean, are you jumping up and down with excitement yet? I know I am.
I think I’ve listened to this song 6 times a day since it was released. And why not? It sounds like the super cool jam that would play in a nightclub during a Quentin Tarantino movie. All smooth vocals and plucky guitars, super sexy, crazy danceable. Plus, who doesn’t like a song with the thesis “We’re up all night to get lucky?” Isn’t getting lucky what we’re all out to do anyway? (Head out of the gutter everyone. I was talking about those record high Powerball numbers).*
*Which, by the way, isn’t the lottery always at a record high these days? It’s stealing it’s own thunder. To quote “The Incredibles,” “If everyone’s super, then no one will be.” I think that says it all.