I don’t really think that dreams are useful. Dream theory, Frued, and all that- I have no use for it. I rarely remember my nighttime adventures, and when I do they are so boring as to be self-explanatory. Do I really need to have a dream about euthanizing my brother to know that he bugs me? I think not.

But last night’s dream brought me a revelation. Like a certain historical figure, I too have had a dream that will change the path of our society. One word: ponycat. In my otherwise realistic dream (It involved people I know and mundane activities like grocery shopping), I owned two of these creatures–tiny, lap-sized animals with the body shape and face of a horse and the cuddly softness of a cat.

I plan to spend the rest of the day researching whether this is scientifically possible. If it is at all feasible, I will move to some sort of farm and begin the process immediately. This is not just for personal gain. This animal is mathematically proven to be the cutest animal on the face of the earth. It could stop war. Just airlift a couple hundred ponycats into the Gaza Strip and that problem solves itself. You’re welcome, UN. I take checks or money orders.